I tried mushrooms for the first time about a month ago. I don’t have any prior experience with psychedelics up until now, but I’ve been intrigued especially after reading posts like this one. I guess you could say I’m searching for something. I’m seeking ways to help expand my mind. I can be a stubborn one. I’m halfway through reading How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. Let’s just say curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted to see for myself. The other reason my curiosity got the best of me is because I’m doing some hypnosis work. I want to see if psychedelics have any effect on my hypnosis sessions.
It was a Saturday morning, and I had the day to myself. I made my usual oatmeal with peanut butter, cinnamon, and hemp seeds, and I sprinkled 1g of mushrooms on top. I lined up some ginger tea just in case any nausea crept up on me. I can’t say I had any intentions set, but I was just looking to see if anything happened. After about an hour I still didn’t feel anything so I went outside. I did notice my senses heightened, especially my hearing. I could hear all the birds chirping more pronounced than usual. The spokes of bicycles passing by was distinct. I could hear the train chugging past me. As far as visuals go, the color red was very bright. After a 30 minute walk, I went back inside. It seemed that would be all at 1g for me. But it was a good first test.
I started looking into getting a trip guide, but I knew it would take me a long time. I’ll say that it takes a long time for me to forge relationships with people, but when I do they are solid. I settled for telling someone I already have a good relationship with that has some experience with psychedelics. Unfortunately this person is half way across the world so we agreed I’d text her once I took the shrooms, and she checked up on me periodically to see how I was doing. If it is your first time, a trip guide/sitter is definitely recommended. I will say even before I tell my story, I think I would’ve been able to trust and let go a bit more if I had a guide.
I woke up early last Friday morning and cleaned up my place. There’s an emphasis on Set and Setting in the psychedelic community. Set being the mindset during the trip. Setting being the physical environment and space for the session. So for setting, I cleaned up, positioned the one piece of art work I own, let some light through my ceiling to floor windows, and put on my Calm Whale playlist. As far as my mindset, I didn’t really have any intention for the trip. I just wanted to see where my mind took me. I did have some questions from my hypnosis coaching group handy just in case. Something along the lines of, “What kind of man do I want to become?” “What’s stopping me?” “How will I know I’m making progress?”
At 10am I measured out 3g of mushrooms, crushed them up and sprinkled it over my peanut butter/cinnamon oatmeal. I made a cup of ginger tea, again, just in case I experienced any nausea. At 10:48am my throat started getting phlegmy and I started feeling sleepy. At 11:15am I tried to go outside, but didn’t make it past the door. I started feeling wobbly and drowsier. I decided to write the last words in my journal before I started tripping. As I wrote the page got brighter, and when I closed my eyes I could see what looked like jellyfish. I grabbed the blind fold that I usually use for my lovers, and started to drift off.
Once I had the blind fold on the patterns got bigger. Sometimes the patterns would change to the rhythm of the music. I don’t know what this means but I saw eyes looking at me. The other peculiar image that I saw was myself, a woman who’s face I could not make out, and what I’m guessing was our baby. I don’t know who the woman was, and I couldn’t tell if it was Midwest or not. Other than that I just saw lots of patterns. If I started to see something that looked like it might be scary, I’d open my eyes.
It felt like waves of drunkenness. When I started feeling drowsy I’d close my eyes to see what the psilocybin was trying to show me. I tried venturing outside a few times, but I was afraid I’d catch a wave and I wouldn’t be ready for it. I went from smiling to tearing up for no reason. The patterns in the tiles moved and danced like I was in an animation. I have one painting in my place that Midwest painted recently. I spent about 30 minutes deciphering it as its shape shifted like clouds in the sky.
After about 3 hours of an intense experience, the psilocybin was letting up and hunger kicked in. I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items and to take in this heightened experience. For some reason I get approached a lot, and today was no different. I ran into this older lady, beautiful I might add, and she spoke to me like she knew me. Like I was her son. I ended up asking her for help because my hands were too dry to open the produce plastic bags, and I stood there for about 5 minutes intently trying to find the opening. We had a good laugh as she teased me. I felt so close to her even though we had never met until then. Then I went for a late lunch. On my way back I was overcome with an ineffable joy. I was grinning from ear to ear. I have no other way to explain it. It was like a sudden wave of gratitude and an overall appreciation for where I am on my trip, where I am in my life.
This was my first trip.